don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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