Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
