Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
