If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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