she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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