Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
