Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
either way he was missing a nipple.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
