the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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