I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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