Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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