i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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