I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize