We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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