party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
