We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
