I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
