Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
