I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Rumble strips road head = magical
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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