You made me cry and you don't even care
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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