so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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