i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
