Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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