i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
