put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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