he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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