I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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