you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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