Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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