I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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