I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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