That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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