at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my phone needs a breathalizer
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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