Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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