You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
