Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize