I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize