The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
