Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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