We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
