I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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