Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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