dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
