Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
