Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
