I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
