I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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