Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize