Ketchup is God's man juice
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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