im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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