I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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