Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
