he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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