I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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