Can Purell be used as lube?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
