:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
