I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
try to milk me bitch
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