i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
