I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
