i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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