so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
