Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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