so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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