she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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